*this photo was taken for a shoot I did for Softspoken that has not been fully released yet*
Tomorrow marks the day I will be putting my shops on vacation for two weeks. For those of you who know me, you know this is a big deal for me. Ive never really put my work aside for any given amount of time. I kind of live and breath my work at all times. Even when Im not working, Im thinking about it. Okay, maybe I should not call it work, b/c for the most part, it doesnt feel like work. And it all intertwines, the actual creating, the advertising, the photographing, the emailing, the packaging, the social networking, the errand running, the supply ordering... All of it. But none of it really feels like work b/c for the most part I enjoy it all. Okay, except for the supply ordering, I could do without that. But this holiday season after the wonderful opportunity of being one of etsy's featured sellers, it has been a bit overwhelming. It seems all my work has become is packaging. I spend most of my day everyday making the orders for the day and packaging. No time to make anything new or hardly daydream about making anything new. I also have not even had a chance to begin to get caught up on tons of restocks for Ruche. And in between it all, I have some big things weighing on my heart as of late. So Im really looking forward to this time I am taking for myself to explore these things.
Ive been feeling led lately. Led in directions of healing, of finding news ways of living. I keep creating connections with lovely ladies who exude love and healing power through their hearts. I keep landing on websites and blogs that remind me of the deeper places in my heart, places I tend to forget about b/c I spend so much time being overwhelmed in my 'work' life. Im seeking balance. Im realizing I need to spend more time for myself and the things I truly love outside of work. I need to find more time to explore hobby like interests, and take better care of my body, inside and out. Find simpler ways of doing things throughout my day so that I can concentrate more on these things. I feel like my heart is calling me to cultivate my life in a preparation for a new amazing chapter down the road. And a big part of that calling is to slow down. To learn to be with myself outside of creating. Besides my huge passion for creating things, I daydream alot about other things that I never allow myself the time to do...
I have made a little list for reference, and I thought Id share it here as a sort of accountability. These are things that make my heart swoon when I think of them, and always seem to make an excuse for why I cant complete them each day... I tend to do them for a little while, and then fall off with it...
cook homeade healthy meals for dinner
cook more things from scratch
read more books
write handwritten letters
sing and record
learn to play the banjo
collage art - for myself
artsy photoshoots - just for fun
connect deeper with friends
have friends over to my house
These all seem easy enough, but it is so easy for me to waste away my extra time. Alot of it is honestly spent online, which is one thing I need to let go of a bit. Not my blog, but social networks. At least really limit my time doing those things. Or you know, browsing cute clothes online :) The time I do spend online, I would love to use connecting deeper with the people who are helping me on my path of healing. Im already learning how to let go of those who no longer bring goodness into my life. Loss is always painful, but Im allowing it to not hurt me anymore.
I will still be posting like usual, about all of the things I always do, but I may also be writing alot more about this process, and maybe even sharing my progress with the list above. I know to alot of people, the list above may seem like all extra curricular activities that no one has time for in this busy world, but these are all things I feel passionate about, and want to slowly add them into my life so they are so second nature I dont have to schedule time for them. I want them all to just be little parts of my daily life. And I dont want to wake up one day and realize all Ive done in this life is create alot of work for myself. When I have children, these are the kinds of things I want to share and do with them.
Wow. Sometimes I think a bit too much, eh?
So, Im very ready for this little chunk of time Im setting aside for myself. Ive already thought of a ton of things to fill up my time with... but I think Im going to let them all go, and go day by day. I need this for myself. It will be a fresh new start to a new amazing year. From what I am learning, this new year is going to be full of changes within myself. Cosmic shifts are happening in my soul, once again. Propelled once again by death, and will hopefully be transformed into a more deeper sense of life.