Yesterday I had a moment of peace. And to fully understand, I must start from a few weeks ago...
Since James and I have moved into our new home, we have been seeing roadrunners everywhere. I look out my window, and Ill see one sitting on a rock. Look out my backyard and one will be in the yard. We drive to town, and one darts in front of us. All of the time. It became apparent to me that I needed to start paying attention to this, they were trying to tell me something. I read up in my Animal Speak book about this creature, but was not quite understanding how it could be relevant to my life. It told me to also study the coocoo bird, which is a close relative, but still did not quite get what I was reading. Then, on monday (two days ago), I re-read it all on our way into town. I all of a sudden understood. It was trying to get my attention about my dad. It was all about seeing the universe on a deeper level, and to listen to what is not being said. It also said that it most likely meant a life changing event was about to occur in your household, either a birth or death. Now sometimes when you read these things before major events happen, its hard to quite comprehend who or what it is talking about, or if it is even real. But upon looking back, I understood it all. So now, this all brings us up to date to the events that happened yesterday.
First of all it poured down raining for about 1/2 an hour. It has not rained here in so long. I sat in my bay window with bella on my lap and we just watched the rain. All I could think was that it was my mom weeping down on all of us and the earth. It was beautiful but sad. And I think it opened up my sensitivity to the natural world around me.
So then later in the day, I was sitting outside in my backyard, on the phone with my best friend. I had told her about how Ive been seeing roadrunners everywhere. As we were talking, I looked over and there was one in my garden, about 15 feet away from me. I thought wow, that is the closest one has ever gotten, they usually dart away at the first sign of a person being there. Then, he walked over to the bird bath that was literally 5 feet away from me. He sat on that bird bath looking at me the whole time I was on the phone. And I was talking loud and moving around the whole time. He stayed there even after getting off the phone. I kind of chuckled and looked at him and asked him if he was my daddy. It just gave me a warm feeling that nature was speaking to me so loudly, especially by being so out of character for that creature. He then ran away and hopped the fence and darted through the woods.
Then, a few hours later, James parents came over to our house. They took us to run our errands and just be with us. We were sitting at our dining room table and I looked outside the window and my backyard had tons of dragonflies flying around. It instantly connected with me b/c I saw thousands of dragonflies not long after my mom died. They have a deep meaning for me. So I went outside to look at them and feel their presence. I then realized, they were only in my backyard. Not in my neighbors yard, not outside my fenced in area, just in my back yard. I thought it was quite strange, but I just enjoyed seeing them and it felt like my mom was there big time.
Then, I came inside to tell his parents about it, and then I just was looking out the window at them. Not a minute later, I look to my right and see two doves sitting on my fence together staring at me. Once I recognized them, the cuddled, then walked along the fence side by side, and then flew off together. I instantly knew they were telling me that my mom and dad were back together where they belonged and that they were okay.
I know this probably sounds crazy to alot of people, but I was told that if my parents were going to visit me, it would be in a way that I would understand. And I understand this world best through nature. I am deeply connected to nature and the things in it, and I truly believe this was God's way of showing me their love. And for it to happen right here in my new home, makes me feel so warm. Like they are blanketing our house with their presence and love. It was truly one of the most amazing experiences Ive ever had. And although it does not take away the sadness of losing my daddy, it is helping me to understand the process of life and death, and to feel at peace with his soul being reunited with my moms. Which is all he ever wanted.
