12.12.2010

The REAL behind the scenes

Its hard to believe that Christmas is right around the corner.  I am no where near prepared this year.  It snuck up on me.  We got our christmas tree up and decorated last week.  And I hung my paper garland I made last year and the yarn garland Jamie sent me last year.  I love them.


The past few days Ive been in a blank funk.  Like I just want to sit and stare.  Nothing is quite wrong, but I cant seem to find any motivation.  Im having to force myself to complete the tasks I have to in order to keep the business running daily.  Maybe I miss my mother more than I think.  Last night I was reading a journal that she wrote in...  for the most part it made me happy inside.  I remembered alot of what she wrote about and I was able to feel her every move during those days, her thoughts and emotions behind the things happening.  Those parts of a person you dont usually know because they keep it in their head.  Ha, there was even a part where she was talking about a party we were at, and how me and my friend were drinking beer and smoking cigarettes, and she couldnt wait until I got past that 'faze'...  It got me thinking, even though she definitely watched me grow out of that faze and far beyond, I wish she could see this faze, right now.  I wish I could sit down with her and show her every little thing Ive made in the past 3 years.  Give her a Violet Bella fashion show, she would love it.  She used to let me try on every outfit I ever bought when we got home, and she would happily appease me!  Mostly I wish she could see who I am right now as a person.  I feel like Ive grown and changed so much in the past 3 years since she has been gone.  And each year I feel like I get closer and closer to wanting to start a family, but it still tears me apart to know she wont be here for it.  Maybe it is just the time of year.  But I cant even seem to keep my thoughts straight long enough to begin thinking about gifts... and its less then 2 weeks away!  Im not sure what to do.

I do know Ive got to pull myself out of this, and soon!  

What do you do when you are in a funk and need out???

PEACE,
Laura

7 comments:

  1. I get like that alot too. I usually go to the book store, get a coffee, and browse thru books for hours. I always end up finding inspiration and wanting to go home and make stuff! Hope you get out of your funk!

    ReplyDelete
  2. everyone has days like these, i get like this.
    im sure you will be back on the path soon.

    Zoe x

    ReplyDelete
  3. Personally I like to indulge myself in a nice hot chocolate... or I just take a brisk walk :) but most of all... I love to fully indulge myself into painting, its the only way I could feel a sense of calm.

    ReplyDelete
  4. when i'm in a funk i make myself get up and dance. just freak out, completely.
    i think the question is, "how could you NOT miss your mom?" it's that time of year....
    trust me, i know about missing people. <3 you have my support.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your a sweet and talented woman, your mom is watching over you and she is your biggest fan. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Let your body be... nap.... rest. I find that when i push myself to work.. one little thing goes wrong with a customer or with sewing it is hugely magnified and makes things worse... plus i like for my energy to be positive when making things.

    Allow your body to feel what it is feeling... usually right after these downtimes.... the follow up is lots of fresh inspiration and joy.

    Wishing you love and peace.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Doing something random, special and unexpected for either a loved one or a stranger is the best way I know of moving away from a "funk". Don't diminish or discount your feelings of sadness and loss, either. You are a month away from the anniversary of your mom's death so of course you are feeling down.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for your sweet comments!