Life is so full of little twists and turns that we can never forsee. I think these twists are not only necessary for our growth, but the unpredictability of life is what makes us be things we may not normally be, like brave. If everything were laid out in front of us, we would have no reason to be brave in the unknown. Or hopeful and full of faith. There would be no place for these things if we knew all that would happen here on earth, or in the afterlife. Im not really sure where Im going with this, just thinking out loud.
Yesterday we had to go to my dad's house. I thought I was fine, but the closer we got, the more unsettled I became. Weve been out there several times, and Ive surprisingly been okay each time. But this time I was getting so upset, I started arguing with James over stupid stuff. We were both already in not so good moods, just not the best day for us... And by the time we pulled up to the house, I just lost it. I walked way out into the woods to the spot I used to go sit when I was younger when I wanted to get away (or go sneak cigarettes). It was comforting in a way to go back to that spot, but I got so full of anger for the fact that it was going to be ripped away from me soon. We are going to have to sell the house, and as much as I agree with that decision, it is going to be so hard to finally let it go. So much of my life exists out there, and each peace of that amazing property and house, was built by my dad, board by board, rock by rock. It just floods me with anger to be left with these choices, and to be the one to have to deal with it all. Not to mention, having to pay the bills that were left and the enormous land taxes on the property until it is sold. Its all a bit overwhelming. Things you dont expect to be taking care of until you are much older. Sometimes I feel so ill-equipped to take of these things. But fortunately, we have so many loving family and friends that are helping us. This mountain seems so big to climb, but I guess we just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and eventually we will get there.
While I was sitting in the spot on the hill, with tears streaming down my face, I couldnt stop noticing this piece of driftwood. It was so beautiful. So I grabbed it when I decided I was ready to get up. I huffed and puffed my way back to the house, and right in the middle of my pathway I found this mountain laurel seed, in a very unusual spot for one. Right then, I knew it was my mom gently reminding me to calm down. Just like my grandfather leaves us feathers, my mom leaves us mountain laurel seeds. Its pretty amazing how finding these little trinkets at the right moment can really put some rest in your heart. This earth is beautiful. I wish so badly that everyone knew how beautiful this earth is. It really is sacred. I think I am going to use this lovely piece of driftwood and a jewelry holder.
I have a busy busy week. I think Ive actually got my boy roped into helping me out today with a big order I have. And, dont forget, only a few days left to get your spot for September Sponsorship on the blog! And, pop on over to Maie Dae's blog to enter her giveaway to win a pair of my Roots and Feathers earrings, along with 3 other prizes!