I have been meeting myself with alot of resistance lately. I didn't even have a word for it until I was editing this photo for this post. It just clicked in my mind, and opened my eyes to what it was I was feeling. For several weeks, or more, I have had some blockages. I have signed myself up for so many things I wanted to work on. Soul things, ecourses, yoga and hooping groups, etc. And each one of those things I made intentions to work on, have come to a screeching halt. I feel like I have said yes so many times, to just look back and say, damn... another thing I forgot to do. Or, another thing I felt a resistance with. The more I think about this word, the more it feels so much deeper than just those little things I sign myself up for. But it reflects so much into my core being, and feelings, thoughts and beliefs I have held within myself over the past few years, and some over a lifetime.
I am going to try to hold these spaces in my heart with gentleness, instead of continuing to mentally beat myself up. The old scars and bruises are no longer working for me. It's time to cleanse and purge my old thought processes. Make room for new growth. Make room for more love. And I even feel resistance to this as I type these words.
One of my all time favorite quotes has always been one from Leonard Cohen... 'there is a crack in everything. that's how the light gets in'. Such a powerful line. I made a typography several weeks ago, and just shared it on The Bohemian Collective the other day.
How do you face your own resistance to growth or change?
Aw sweetheart I so know what you mean. We could talk all day about this.... I think it's important like you said to be gentle. With ourselves and our struggles and the journey itself. Have grace on your resistance. Love is the only thing that transforms negativity... Let your resistance know that you will listen to what it says without judgement towards it but just listen. Everything has a purpose and this is how negative things can be redeemed. There is something underneath the resistance that is using it as a shield or a distraction. This means it's really important. Be patient with yourself and let it know you are a safe person for whatever is hiding within so that it will trust you to take care if it. Whether it is deep pain, or huge personal growth, any kind of tender spot will try to protect itself but when you receive it gently it knows you will protect it. Here for you dear friend. You are so brave!
ReplyDeleteyou have no idea how much these words mean to me. thank you.
DeleteI really identify with this. I, too, signed on for more than a few things (that I really wanted to do and I thought would be good for me, to help me through some scary stuff relating to my mom's health) and I've totally dropped the ball on almost all of it. I feel like I'm letting myself down, or am stupidly not taking advantage of things that would be good for me. :(
ReplyDeletelizzie,
Deleteone thing i have found helpful, especially with the IHS class we are taking, is to print it out. i print out the emails and activities and then read them and reflect on them in my own time. then i dont feel so overwhelmed with not keeping up. and the work comes better for me when im doing it when my heart asks, not b/c i feel like i have to squeeze it in my schedule. xo.
burn some sage and meditate... helps to ground yourself when you feel stuck!
ReplyDeleteburn some sage and meditate, it helps to ground and cleanse yourself when you are stuck.
ReplyDeleteperfect idea zule.
DeleteI've been feeling much this same way. Which is interesting, since many things in my life lately have been looking "up." I still can't help but feel like it's all destined to fall apart. It's so important to take care of ourselves during these times, and it seems like you're doing that :) Feel better. <3
ReplyDeletechantilly, i hope you are taking good care of yourself too! for me during this time, i dont feel like things are going to fall apart... its more of a resistance to deep long rooted change that needs to take place, so its more of a resistance to fully meet myself.
Deletei hope this feeling subsides for you soon!
xo.
To add support along with these other goddesses: I too can completely relate to Meditation, breath and delicious Sage..try sitting with these feelings, take that step into the discomfort deep inside us and just ...breathe and notice with no judgement...most of us try to suppress this with a variety of things,but Growth comes from stepping outside of that comfort zone- I love your blog - honest. creative. authentic. xo from Canada's Cap! www.verveevolving.blogspot.com
ReplyDeletethank you for this christine... this resistance comes from such a deep place, one i cannot talk about here on the blog. i love your words about noticing with no judgement. this is what i need right now. old patterns repeat themselves for so long, that its hard not to feel hard on yourself. thank you for sharing.
DeleteI draw. Then turn out some fast music, grab accountability and fight on.
ReplyDeletelove this. grab accountability and fight on. warrior spirit!
DeleteFor me, it's a real balance between being gentle with myself, acknowledging that sometimes things aren't going to happen (I love Julia Cameron's quote "We're human BEINGS, not human doings.") And sometimes resistance is good for the spirit. SOmetimes it's needed to call you deeper in to your Self - soul work is just as valuable.
ReplyDeleteAnd then there's also a part of me that needs to do exactly as Didge says - become accountable, and just DO some things, resistance and all. Even if it's absolutely awful, getting through some things can give you the rock and foundation you need to fight on and slowly work your way out of it all.
So I suggest doing a bit of both. :) But take care of yourself as you do so. I'm rooting for you, and working through my own resistance as well. <3
Laura, You continue to bring words to me that are medicine to my soul. I was away from home for a few days and spent time alone while away doing a sale. I had a rude awakening that had been knocking on my door for a few months now. I had been meeting this knock with a lot of resistance. It wasn't until I was able to spend some time alone that it slapped me in the face and I was forced to face it. (I didn't even know what "it" was) Anyway, the word resistance has been a big one for me to these last few days. I am realizing that there is so much I had to uncover and that I have to work on something bigger than what lies on the surface. I feel so much better since I got home yesterday. I'm ready! No more worrying and feeling like there is something not quite right. I am focused on the issue at hand and have a positive outlook and plan. I won't worry, I will breathe. Slow down and repair myself from the inside out. <3 Thank you for helping me to continually dive into myself and not be afraid to spit these words out. They help me so much! I feel a connection with you Laura, I do!
ReplyDeleteI've been lacking motivation lately. I decided instead of doing a full yoga routine that shortly after I wake up I do the basic sun salute. By doing this I've been more motivated to do other things through out the day too. To help motivate me to do yoga I drink coffee. What can I say I'm not a morning person. Hopefully in a couple months I graduate myself and do a couple more moves.
ReplyDelete