I wanted to make a post of what I am thankful for...but I hate to admit it, I am a lump of sadness at the moment.
I was working on a quilt I made for Bella earlier today and I broke a Christmas ornament. I thought it was my parents first Christmas ornament from when they got married. I cried like a baby, twice, over it. I just realized that it was NOT that one, it was just a handmade one that looked like it. I felt so silly. But this incident brought on an ache for my mother like nothing else. I miss her so badly. I was looking through my photos on my Mybook and I hardly have any photos of us anymore. I lost them all when I lost all my photos last year. This is one of her and my brother, when she cut her hair short for the first time because she knew she was going to loose it to chemo. She always had such beautiful long hair and I never wanted her to cut it short, but when she did, she looked so adorable, I loved it.
I miss my brother too. He is away on another job. I hate it when he leaves. I hate that he is missing so much of his son's life because of work. I know he hates it too.
God, I feel like such a smuck to not saying thanks. I am thankful for sooooooo much, believe me. Maybe I will post my thankfulness after thanksgiving when I am feeling better. The list is LONG.
I love you mom.
<3 *hugs* It's okay to be sad every once in a while. I'm sorry to hear about your mom :(
ReplyDeleteSending you hugs, sweetie!
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself!
Don't be sorry for not making a thankful list right now! Know that it's ok!
It's completely normal to miss your mommy!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could go over there and give you a great big hug :D
I'm really sorry that you're not feeling well today. This might not help, but maybe it will. Your mom is probably up in heaven dancing with Jesus because of what an amazing daughter she has! Just picture her laughing now, full of joy, you know there are no sad tears in heaven ;) and just think, one day you get to be there dancing with her too!
I know it won't take away the pain, but maybe it'll help bring some good thoughts too. Thinking of you and praying for you! Thank you for stepping out and being so vulnerable with us. <3
Hope you have a good Thanksgiving! Sending hugs from North Dakota :)
ReplyDeleteAllow yourself these moments, it is ok... and it is healing. I know that it never goes away, but do not ever feel bad for missing your mom.
ReplyDeleteI think you look so much like her. And she raised a beautiful daughter and son!
Ditto to everyone else, a big hug from Colorado.
Love,
Tamera