5.10.2010

Love you, Mom

This post was meant for yesterday...

Funny thing, I never used to do 'mothers day', we always agreed it was just another day, and that you should honor your love for you mother everyday, not just one day through a greeting card and some flowers... but now that she is gone, mothers day has a new special meaning to me. Its a bittersweet feeling.

I was so completely blessed to have my mom be mine, for 25 years of my life. She was the most nurturing, inspiring, loving mothers in the world. My nanna tells me that from the time she was a little girl, all she wanted to be was a mother. It was her calling. Of course she was also an amazing artist, wife, sister, friend, and all of the other things you could be.

I actually havent been blogging alot lately because Ive been a bit down, missing her, and feeling aching in my heart for my daddy. Just going through a bit of a nostalgic period... The emotions life carries with it, are inevitable at times...

So here, in short, is a bit of a time line of my mom. I could post the biggest blog ever with photos, so I tried to keep it short with some of my favorites. And mostly about me and her.

This is when she was probably younger than I am. She is the one on the far right, the middle is her sister, Lisa, and the left was her best friend, Bev. I love this photo so much.
Her gazing at me when i was a baby :)
Swimming at nannas house! There is another photo from this day where she is laying in a lawn chair and im walking to her with my bathing suit almost to my ankles, i was telling her i had to pee :)
feeding the deer at canyon lake.
i just love this photo, her eyes were so beautiful. i loved the color of them, my brother got her eyes. she was so happy about this cup of tea, i remember. this was a fun mother daughter day.
she always kept these two photos together because of how much we look alike, we were about the same age in these photos. and this is the longest my hair has ever been!
ha ha, her perm days! and my goth days
me and my pap on her birthday...
high school days...
she loved james, which makes my heart happy...
around the time she found out she had cancer, we cut her hair short before her chemo...
had a campfire, and she was doing sun salutations!
after her chemo, showing her bravery, and sillyness :)
i love this photo, it shows how close we felt for each other, my best friend.
all we need in this photo is rain!
her and my brother, love this photo. she cared for that boy sooooo much. when her hair grew back in after chemo it was gray, and i loved it!
on my wedding day, i wish i had more photos of her from it...
our hug right after i got married.
our last photo together...
this may be really sad to look at for some of you, but this is the beautiful coffin that my daddy made for her with his own hands, while she was sick. it was probably one of the hardest things he has ever done, but he was is a carpenter, and what an honor it was for her for him to have the courage to do this.
and these are the little things she requested to send along with her. yes, that is a pinecone! she loved collecting these. Everything in this world was 'special' to her. Even to the last moment, she was telling us to make sure to put these little 'special' things with her.
I wish each and everyone of you could have known my mom, i guarantee she would have changed your life just a bit, even if you just met her once. She was that amazing of a woman.

I love you mom.

"Got to get back to the land and set my soul free"
~csny

PEACE,
Laura

23 comments:

  1. Oh, sweet Laura! She's so beautiful! You look so much like her! I can tell she was such an amazing woman because of her amazing daughter! These photos are so precious! Sending you a big hug! Love you! xoxo

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  2. You can tell by these photos what a full life she had, and what a lovely person she was. A very beautiful tribute to a great woman!

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  3. wow... Laura, these photos are beautiful! I seriously started crying... They have so much emotion in them... She looks like an amazing person. :)

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  4. This is beautiful and so full of heart. I started to tear. She seems like a very amazing woman. Eventhough I don't know you.. I can tell she's shining right through you, just in your ways. Hope you had a blessed mother's day.

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  5. Happy Belated Mother's Day to your beautiful momma, wherever she is. What a beautiful post Laura, I do really wish I'd met your momma because even though I didn't, with all the little things you've posted about her, she still changed my life a bit. Thanks so much for sharing all this and for being an amazing daughter to her. Sorry if it sounds like a cliché but she must be so proud of you. So, so proud. I would be, and I haven't even met you in person.
    A big hug,
    Ana :)

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  6. You're such an amazing person, Laura! You can tell by the way you "talk" about her and the looks in your photos with her how you two felt about each other! You truly are blessed to have had a Momma like that! And she, to have a daughter like you to always keep her memory alive. You're an inspiration Laura... truly an inspiration.
    ~Frances

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  7. Such a beautiful soul. I can tell she truly loved and lived life to it's fullest. I can just see the love she has for you. You should've seen the collection of things we put in with my grandpa. An empty tub of vapor rub, a used coffee cup from his favorite donut place, a piece of duct tape, etc. Most people probably thought it was trash. It's funny the little things we find after the fact that remind us of them.

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  8. This is such a touching tribute to what seems to have been a wonderful person and light in your life.

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  9. No matter how much or how little Mother's Day is recognized in someone's world it does call to mind the memory of mother and what motherless daughters' have lost. Thank you for posting the picture of your mom's coffin, my own mother told me about it. (although she was too ill for travel to Linda's memorial Dad told her about it) I loved seeing Linda's picture from HS, I remember her like this and thought she was the second prettiest girl in the world when I was 8. Your dad is a good soul and I know Tim will find someone else to love and share his life with. I just hope your stepmother is as amazing and brave and beautiful as my own.

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  10. Thank you from the bottom of my heart everyone. I am always amazed when i post about my mother... just talking about her seems to bring out the best in people, people i have never met, which makes it all the more real what an amazing woman she was. thank you, each and everyone of you. i feel blessed to have others out there reading my little blog and walking away with these emotions from it. wow, thank you!

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  11. I thought about you a lot yesterday, wondering what you were feeling. You are so open and honest, this is what I have loved about you from day one. Your mom looked like she was such a free spirit, thank you for sharing all of these pictures of her. I feels like I know you a little more, since she's such a big part of you. Every little piece of her that you share with us just amazes me more and more. And the coffin, was just beautiful and made me cry, knowing that your dad made it, just beautiful.
    Love you girly

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  12. Oh man, this was such a wonderful post. It's so obvious the love that you had/still have for your mama. She seems like the best kind of person, I'm sure we all would have loved her <3

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  13. You've been in my thoughts a lot lately. I am missing you but giving you space if you want it.
    This was a really beautiful post and remembrance of your mother. wish i could have met her but knowing you somehow makes me feel as if i'm seeing the best of what she was in the making. :) much love my dear sweet friend. *mwah*!

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  14. Thanks again Laura for the beautiful words about your mum I wrote to you last time too..I know we were so blessed to have our wonderful beautiful mum's in our life if even for a short time..Thank you again for writing the words I wish I could..I know its tough but I know my mum is with me everyday if not in a butterfly, a flower that makes me want to smell it, to the blue sky I seem to find her everyday....I hope your days get brighter and your heart gets lighter..

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  15. I must say that this post brought tons of tears to my eyes. You are both so beautiful and I'm sorry you have to spend mother's day without her. It looks like she had a gorgeous life with you and your memories of her will always seem to live on. You describe your relationship magically. That is such a wonderful thing that you have those memories.

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  16. I teared up on this blog laura... my heart goes out to you... Im so happy that you had this special relationship with your Mom... and I know that a big part of her is still dwelling inside of you..
    Sending you a big hug...

    Luvs, Shaun

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  17. beautiful pictures, thank you for sharing. xoxo

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  18. Beautiful words about your mother Laura! You really do look so much like her.I agree with Jamie that she had to be an amazing mom because you are truely a beautiufl, strong, and amazing woman!
    I actually thought about you on mothers day and sent good vibes your way! I am so happy to have found you in this little blog world. You always brighten my day!
    XOXO

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  19. oh my word - i am so touched after reading this. your mom was beautiful - and your dad making her coffin - tears! mothers are incredible, and i think you'll see her again one day.

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  20. oh wow, what a beautiful post! i love the way you and your mom looked together...so much love and respect. i can tell you two had a very special bond and a great relationship. and that's amazing that your dad built that for her. what an amazing gift!

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  21. Beautiful post Laura... (think it's the first time I comment but I've been reading you for a while now, love your blog btw).
    So sweet, it kinda makes me sad that I don't have pretty photos of my mom and I like this, but we never got along that well, still we love each other...
    I lost my dad when I was 17 though, God I miss him...
    Now I just don't know waht to say anymore...

    kiss kiss sweetie*

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  22. I just stumbled upon your blog.
    It's wonderful, of course.

    This post though has me sitting here in tears.

    What a wonderful woman your mother was.

    To inspire such love and devotion.

    I am a new mother and I just wanted you to know she has inpsired me.

    Thanks for sharing her.

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  23. Oh, goodness. She must have been a wonderful woman!!
    And your Dad and the coffin...Its deeply touching, thank you for sharing!

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Thank you so much for your sweet comments!