Yesterday was full of a chain of events that struck my soul. First the music I was listening to, then an amazing conversation with a friend with loud and clear messages coming from my mother, to reading another friends blog post. I went outside by our campfire and wrote my heart's campfire song for the day. Not really a song, more just thoughts... But here is what I wrote:
"Although no fire burns inside this firepit, just being in this sacred space ignites my soul. Today I was reminded of some things by some amazing soul sisters of mine. That its time to take these broken bones and ghosts I carry with me to the grave. Even my new Rocky cd I listened to about 10 times today spoke of taking our mistakes and old wounds to its own funeral. Its time to gently place these fears and hurts I carry around on my shoulders every waking day, deep underneath the ground - then fiercy and intentionally walk away. Or like my mom once said about being buried - let them push up flowers from the ground. When we asked my mom if she wanted to buried or cremated she said buried, so that she could push up flowers from the ground.
I think Ive even allowed my sadness to get in the way of really hearing my parents voices. Knowing that their souls are still here with me to be called upon at anytime. After so long of not seeing them, hearing them, huggin them, its easy to forget that. And then out of the blue, an earth angel sends me a reminder. Im so grateful for the few soul sisters Ive received in my life in the past year. I know in my heart they are all a gift from my mom. Even though Ive never tangibly seen, touched or even spoken to them - their souls speak volumes to me through mere words online. Just by reading my dear friend Rain's words today, I was inspired to stop working for a moment and come outside to write. Now Ive spoken things in my heart, felt the sun on my back, listened to birds singing to each other, felt a warm breeze across my skin, smelled the earth... A big ahhhhhh, and a feeling of gratitude"
_______________________________________
Before this, earlier in the day, I had an intensely magical conversation with my
friend Julie, who felt some messages from my mom to me... without going into alot of detail, it was about work, focus, perserverence, happiness in life, and having the courage to pull through with somethings I have felt too weak to do on my own. And when I went out to write in my journal that afternoon, the page I opened up to were words I had written last year...
Ironic? I think not. A gentle reminder to myself, from myself. Amazing. Then reading
Rain's words on her blog...
"but may our tremblings, beloved,
become the raw rhythms of our sojourn;
may our fearful quakings thrust us into movement,
and may those first, halting,
barely-there-slow-motions
ignite energy for our feet,
for our life-dance,
for our story.
let us take old, painful memories,
those hurtful moments
which wrap us like a shroud,
tight, immovable, bound
and cast them into a great fire ~
and with this flame we will light our way.
let us awaken! let us say yes! to life ...
not merely to living,
but to becoming alive."
After listeing to Rocky Votolato's Ghost Writer lyrics all morning:
"bury the dead past disappointment in the cemetery of mistakes,
you cant forget just let the pressure turn your charcoal heart into a diamond reflecting the light,
dont let it get crushed into dust"
I would say I had a day of moment's, in between all of the hard work I did yesterday. It was definitely quite a full day, and I got soooo much accomplished. Same with today. Sooo... I just want to say thank you to the universe for these little moments of clarity. Ask and you shall receive, as my mom always told me.
PEACE,
Laura
