I decided to write a little New Years post, and since this time of year is usually about changes we want to occur in our lives, I thought I would start in this very moment. Instead of sitting inside at my computer desk to write up this post, I gathered up a blanket, pillow, James laptop and my phone in case it rings, outside to enjoy the scenery and breeze while I do. It took just a few extra minutes out of my day, and has already made all the difference in the way my body feels. These are the simple kind of changes I look forward to emplimenting in my daily life this next year. Little things I can change about my routine as I work at home, to make my days more fulfilling. I think this is a good start!
2011 was another one of those years I would call the best and the worst years. So many amazing things happened this year. The biggest of those being buying our very own home and having both of our handmade business be a success. Starting my new Roots and Feathers line, and then becoming a featured seller on etsy, was amazing! This also planted many seeds in my heart of knowing Im on the right path, and fully allowing myself to continue following my dreams. We have also deepened a few friendships in our lives this year, and reconnected with some old friends. And we recovered our pup Violet from heartworms, and she is strong and healthy!
The hardest part of this past year has been losing my dad to suicide. It is something I think I will have to feel and work on every day of my life. It has sparked an emotional and spiritual revolution inside my heart, just like when I lost my mom, but in a different way this time. It has also amplified missing my mom so much. Its left me with so much more fear of the world then I had before, which is going to take lots of time and healing to work my way through. But it has also opened my heart more and more to the idea of bringing a new life into our home. It has again made me realize how tender and short this life really can be. It has also changed James heart in so many ways. The death of my parents has given me so much insight into life itself, and to everyone who knew and loved them. They will forever be missed and yearned for, for the rest of our lives.
*this photo of my parents was taken by a friend when they went to Italy together*
I can only imagine what 2012 is going to bring into our lives. I could really go without any kind of loss. My hopes for the new year are lots of healing in my heart, more activity in my body, more spiritual connections, the growth of a new garden, continued success in our businesses, new friendships and maybe a little bebe growing in my belly at some point in the year :) These are my biggest wishes.
I know I cant change which way the wind blows, or who comes in or out of my life, or a million other things, but Im excited about the things I can change. Which reminds me of the serenity prayer my mom used to always tell me... God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. This is one of the simplest yet most profound prayers. Its the only prayer my mom ever told me, and she learned it from AA. I love it.
One more thing Im going to accept before going into this new year, is patience and time. I know so many of us put these crazy high expectations on ourselves for the year, but so many of these changes take time, like real time. As my heart allows me, Im going to let go of the things that no longer serve me, and welcome new things that do. And if it takes me all year, or 5 years, so be it. I will follow my course without pressuring myself. The world has a great way of making things happen when they are suppose to :)
This is how I spent most of my day today. As soon as James got home, my cramps kicked in full gear and I was bed bound for hours. It was so bad this time it actually made me throw up, which hasnt happened in years. Sometimes it makes me wonder how Ill ever have a baby naturally if I can barely stand my periods. Sorry if thats TMI.
Happy New Year to everyone I have met along this journey so far! Lets continue to embrace each other in this community into the new year.